Years...

by wyomingnot

Rating: PG
Pairing: um. There should be one in there to suit just about everyone.
Words: 100. times eight.
Notes: It's a series of eight drabbles of 100 words each. The drabbles stand on their own individually, but also go together as a whole. Thanks to Laura McEwan for the quick beta read and title suggestion (from the Beth Nielson Chapman song. Which I've never heard, but the chorus seems apropos).

And I thought about years
How they take so long
And they go so fast

~*~

The first time Severus Snape spent Christmas away from his family was his fifth year at Hogwarts. He spent it in the company of Remus Lupin. The two were nearly inseparable, for all that they were never seen together publicly.
It was a holiday of discovery for the two as they each found out just what the big deal was about sex. They exchanged silly gifts bought in Hogsmeade and spent Christmas Eve wrapped up together in Remus' curtained bed in Gryffindor Tower. Their trysts necessarily moved elsewhere after the break, and ended completely the day of their DADA O.W.L.

Severus Snape spent his first Christmas as a Death Eater at Malfoy Manor. It was not unlike the holiday he spent with Lupin two years prior, only this wasn't two boys experimenting to find what felt good; Lucius Malfoy carefully led Severus through an exploration of the fine line between pleasure and pain.
It was a Christmas gift beyond belief. In between Lucius' "lessons", there were parties and celebrations of all kinds. He was so utterly enthralled by Lucius and the perceived lush life of the Death Eaters that he completely overlooked the underlying darkness until it was too late.

The Christmas holiday had long ago ceased to be an occasion for Severus Snape to celebrate. The first one after the fall of Voldemort he attempted to spend in solitude in the dungeons of Hogwarts. The headmaster and others made repeated attempts to draw him out.
Minerva was the only one he would let in. He really wasn't sure why. She felt safe. She didn't want anything but to comfort. He was reminded of his mother, and told her so, hoping that if she wanted more she'd leave him be. She stayed and held him in her arms Christmas Eve.

For Severus Snape, the Christmas holidays were defined as the short, cold, quiet time. They provided a much needed break from the noise and work of the rest of the school year. No cause for celebration, certainly.
Out of respect, and a certain non-admitted gratitude and affection, Severus would select a gift for the headmaster each year, never quite knowing what to get. The presents were always met with great delight and an invitation to stay, share a drink. The implication that there was more to be shared hung in the air.
As his loneliness grew, the offer became tempting.

During the year Gilderoy Lockhart was at Hogwarts, Severus Snape's Christmas routine remained unchanged, despite his affair with Lockhart.
But for the first time in years, he desired change; he wanted to leave the castle. Get away from Lockhart and his bloody mistletoe. The headmaster refused him. Reminded that he wasn't yet safe. That he was needed at the castle.
Severus believed the reasons to be borne of jealousy. He never had shared a bed with Albus, and yet, by all appearances, he had gone quite easily to Lockhart's. It mattered not; he spent the holiday alone in his quarters.

When Remus Lupin joined the faculty at Hogwarts, Severus Snape was determined to not let the werewolf's presence disrupt his carefully balanced life. He had learned his lesson about dalliances with the staff the previous year with Gilderoy Lockhart.
There was danger involved in allowing someone who once meant a great deal to you back into your life. Consistency was vital to Severus. Christmas would have passed by unremarkably if not for Lupin's insistence. He let the wolf in, accepted, and shared, his gift of fine scotch. He turned down the offer of something more and went to bed alone.

The Dark Lord had listened to Severus Snape, his most trusted spy, and believed Hogwarts to be virtually empty over the Christmas holiday. He thought it would be an easy victory over Dumbledore and the Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die. The trap was set and sprung, with hundreds of wizards and witches prepared for a fight to the finish. The final fall of Voldemort came on Christmas day itself. Severus did his part in the final battle as did everyone else. When it was over, the bodies counted and buried (and there were so very many), nobody bothered Severus about celebrations or his brooding.

The year Harry Potter returned to Hogwarts as a teacher, Severus' Christmas was nearly the same as so many before it. Until Harry came calling. They spoke through a barely opened door.
"Merry Christmas, Severus! I thought you could use some company."
"Potter, I am alone by design. Please respect that."
"You don't have to do this, Severus. You've been lonely a very long time. You don't need to be anymore."
"And so the Saviour of the Wizarding World becomes my own personal saviour?"
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes." Harry pushed through the door and kissed Severus.
And he wasn't alone anymore.
back...
wyomingnot at yahoo dot com